What is how to say happy birthday to someone who hurt you?

Navigating the situation of acknowledging a birthday for someone who has hurt you can be challenging. Here are a few approaches you might consider, depending on the context and your feelings:

1. Simple and Neutral Message: Keep your message straightforward and neutral. A simple "Happy Birthday" can convey the sentiment without delving into emotions or opening up past wounds.

2. Focus on Civility: If maintaining civility is your goal, you might want to include a brief but polite message. For example, "Wishing you a happy birthday. Hope you have a good day."

3. Digital Message: Sending a text, email, or social media message might feel less personal but more manageable if there's still tension. This allows you to acknowledge the day without engaging in a direct conversation.

4. Acknowledge and Set Boundaries: If you feel comfortable, you might acknowledge past issues subtly and set a tone for moving forward. E.g., "Happy Birthday. Despite our differences, I wish you well."

5. Reflect First: Ensure you're ready to reach out. Consider whether doing so aligns with your current emotional state and goals, and avoid acting out of obligation or pressure.

6. Skip It: If acknowledging the birthday feels inauthentic or too distressing, it's okay to prioritize your well-being and refrain from reaching out at all.

Ultimately, how you proceed should align with your comfort level and the nature of your relationship with the person. Self-care and setting healthy boundaries should be your top priorities.